[from Scene I]
I arrived at my next Enlightened Stage an auspicious night, just sitting in the living room with my roommate. The conversation had breached the subject of my rebellion and sedition.
My roommate said, “You really screwed God.”
I replied in earnest and arrogance, “No. He screwed me.”
Over the next year I pressed further and further into the proverbial rabbit hole. The separation from Christianity was nearly complete. I was feeling more alive and more confident than I had ever in my life. My life was now in my hands and I could do anything I wanted to do. Or so I thought.
I got a new job and starting going back to college. I was no longer a roofer, but an airline agent. My new job allowed me to meet many new people and test out my new Enlightened Theories. My embittered and emerging Atheism was taking root in the vacancy left my rejection of Christianity.
The stupidity of cookie cutter Christians and the apostasy of Hypocritical Posers gave me encouragement me that I was traveling the correct path of Truth. I loved debating Christians and making them eat their pre-packaged, un-original drivel, it would give me such a high that I was intellectually superior to them. By mere thought I had elevated myself above thousands of years of Religious tradition.
It reached its height when I berated a Christian Co-worker, who is actually now my wife. It was after a flight one night that Nina was talking about Jesus, and she was so matter-a-fact. I got pissed and said, “You don’t even know if there is a God!” Then I walked out. Later I had a lunch with her and I just reamed her about her idiocy in believing in a God.
I wasn’t prepared for what came next. Nina and her friends continued to live a Christian life in front of me. I saw them screw up, saw them flourish, and I saw them live a life that was truly one of Intimacy with God. I had never seen any truly live a life for Christ without being ubber Religious. This was truly different.
At this point I was cocky, arrogant, and I would say anything that I wanted to say. I attributed my confidence to my new-found Atheism. In reality, it was just me coming out from under a Religious Bondage. My atheism was born out of Rebellion and Rejection. If I was honest with myself I would have to say that all that Atheism just inflated me with an intellectually based self-confidence. I was still riddled with personal conflict and questions that no one, not even the vastness of the universe could answer. I knew that I didn’t have all the answers. I knew that Buddhism, Atheism, Hinduism, or Agnosticism did not hold the answers.
The only logical decision that I could make was Christianity. There was no theological argument or intellectual diatribe that could come close to derailing the simplicity and honesty of Christianity. I chose from that moment on that I would choose Jesus, come what may, and the questions that I didn’t have answers for I would sort them out throughout the course of my life. Over the last few years I have found several answers to these questions.
I will divulge of the course of this blog to share with you what I found and what has encouraged me in my faith. I am a Christian and if you continue to read I will explain to you why.