It is funny in life how you remember certain people. I can still see this gorgeous, brunette bombshell approaching me at the Continental counter almost 10 years ago. She was handing in her application for employment. I thought, ‘Loren, the station Manager, needs to hire this girl, she is hot and sexy’. Her long brown hair and her big smile were definitely heart stoppers. I told her I would give it to the manager and then went and told Loren that we need to hire this girl. My friend Josh and I both agreed that we need to “up” the Hotness Quotient of our Female employees. We also agreed that this chic would take it up a notch.
She in fact was hired. We worked together for about a year. Our interactions weren’t always pleasant and sweet but there was something about her that I couldn’t get out of my head. The biggest problem was the boyfriend she had, but that wasn’t too big of a problem. Let’s face it I am Wes Mullins. I am good-looking, witty, smart, awesome basketball player, poet, song writer, etc (too expansive a list to fit in one blog post.ha.). In fact I had just hit my prime with the opposite sex. I had found a confidence that I had been lacking in my early years and it was paying dividends.haha. I knew that if I was patient and continued to lay on the Mullins Charm, that she would eventually give in, they all did…at least for the 1st date. It usually only took 2 or 3 dates before my cover was blown and I imploded and ruined everything.ha.
We did eventually start dating, and I did implode and fall apart. She went off to Nepal for 4 months so most of the imploding was done via internet chatting or by myself. But she hung around and made me feel like it was okay to fall apart.
We were married a few months after she got back from Nepal, which may have been a tad too quick, but live and learn.ha. The first few years very difficult but we eventually got the hang of it.The last few years have been awesome!
I remember the wisdom I heard as a young man concerning marriage, “it is not necessarily about finding the right person, but about becoming the right person.” Nina and I have both stretched each other and have grown into a pretty awesome couple. That is right we are the epitome of Awesomeness! What!!!
We have two of the most beautiful children in the entire world!! I love being a Daddy and Husband. It is amazing how relationships affect us. We see ourselves in such a different light when we look through someone else’s eyes. Alex and Eliana have helped us become even better spouses.
What I have learned about life is that our Love, is not for ourselves. It is a gift that is meant to be given away. Self-love is shallow and selfish. Meaning that it cannot fulfill the amount of love that we need to be well. If we use our love for ourselves, we have very little, if any to give away. Love is reciprocal: the giving of unconditional love and the receiving of unconditional love. If I give you unconditional love and if you give yourself your unconditional love, the relationship is unhealthy.
This why we need each other, “You complete me.” (Renee Zellweger, “Jerry Maguire”) We are communal creatures and have a need to be in relationship with other people. It is when we draw back out of fear that our Love will not be reciprocated that our perspectives, motives, and life gets out of balance. To be healthy and whole in a relationship it takes self-sacrifice, you have to give wholly of yourself. It can not be a 50/50 relationship, it has to be 100/100 or it doesn’t work correctly. One can learn to function in dysfunctional relationships but it is unnecessary punishment and will spill over to other areas of your life.
This is why that intimacy with Jesus Christ, a real relationship, with him is paramount in our lives; He will always reciprocate Love, for He is Love. It is innately his Nature. His love continuously is being poured forth through the Cross. It is the one relationship that is solely contingent upon your decision. He extends His Love, it is up to you if you want to accept it, to reciprocate with unconditional love in return. He will never leave you or forsake you, He will never deny you (even if you deny Him). But just like other relationship, it will cost you. There is not way to be in a platonic relationship with Jesus. You have to sacrifice your self-love, your self loathing, your self indulgences.
He already gave up everything to have a chance at a relationship with you: He gave his very life, He allowed his blood to be spilled, He suffered great pain so that you wouldn’t have to suffer it. He freely gave every ounce of strength, every ounce of breath for you…just like a courting groom trying to win the hand of His betrothed. He withheld not one thing from you. There is no greater love than to give your very life for someone else, especially if you have not guarantee that they will reciprocate the notion or even accept it.
This is how I want to treat my wife. This is the Husband I want to be for Nina; no sacrifice is too great, too small. I cannot complete myself, my wholeness comes from her sacrifice to me; a perfect circle of Love. Love you Nina.